Home Alone for the Holidays and How I Celebrate the Season

As I did this year for Thanksgiving, I thought it would be nice to recall some Christmases past. This was, in part, triggered by a recent article in the Washington Post which features yours truly. The reporter was doing research for a story on people with unconventional Christmas traditions and she came across a blog post written by my friend Becki Svare. Specifically, Becki's blog post is about her family's first attempt at not exchanging gifts during the holidays. I saw her post in my Facebook feed and commented about my experience trying to get my family to transition to a similar arrangement almost 20 years ago. Thus, when the reporter asked Becki if she knew anyone else that had moved away from gift giving, Becki referred her to me. The resulting story, published online on December 22nd, touches on what happened when I asked my family if we could scale back on the gift giving and how things have evolved since then. There are even quotes from myself, my mom, and my husband.

The Smartt's ~ Christmas 1977

Growing up with my sister and my parents in Hermitage, Tenn., Christmas-time was one of the few occasions each year I would see my extended family (aunts, uncles and cousins) on my mom's side. We'd usually get together at my grandparents house in Chattanooga to eat a big meal and open gifts. Everyone brought something for the kids; there were only a handful of us at the time and my mom has four siblings, so we raked it in. We usually spent Christmas Eve at my paternal grandmother's house, enjoying a delicious homemade meal and opening more gifts. My sister and I are her only grandchildren so, again, there were many, many nice presents. We would hardly sleep that night because, on Christmas morning, our gifts from Santa Claus would be waiting for us, unwrapped and displayed under the tree. Barbies, Cabbage Patch Kids, Legos, Hot Wheels, clothes and shoes, books and cassette tapes and board games; we got it all. Even our pet guinea pigs had stockings and got treats from Santa. Later in the day we would open our presents from our parents. I'd estimate the total number of gifts my sister and I received each year to be upwards of 30 apiece. Their total value in 1970's and 1980's dollars was probably well over $300 per person. I only mention this because my family was not wealthy. But it was important to my parents to be able to buy us things.

My parents with my mom's siblings and their spouses ~ Christmas 1991

Now, as a middle-aged adult with no children, I am, for the most part, a minimalist. I prefer not to have excess stuff, partly because I move around a lot and don't like to feel weighed down when I'm ready to live somewhere else. If I need or want something at any time during the year and can justify the purchase, I buy it right then. I also buy things for my husband and don't wait for a special occasion to give them to him. So, on birthdays and holidays like Christmas, I prefer to focus on spending quality time together with the people I love versus buying a bunch of material things that no one really needs. I'll cook us a nice meal or we'll make plans to go to a restaurant or brewery. If I do buy any gifts, they are usually consumable i.e. favorite foods or drinks. Or I'll make something like a 12-month wall calendar with photos from our travels. I also enjoy traveling during the holidays to places where it's more about the celebration (or just relaxing on the beach) than exchanging gifts.

A gift from our hotel in Luang Prabang, Laos ~ Christmas 2010

I actually stopped going "home" for the holidays many years ago. The last time I can recall being in Nashville for Christmas was in 2011 just before Greg and I moved to Portland, Ore. We had traveled around the world for more than nine months, returned to the states and gotten married, then gone on a three-month honeymoon in Europe. We wanted to spend some time with our families before moving cross-country.

Christmas 2011 at my mom's house. The unwrapped gifts in front of the tree are for my two nephews from Santa.

When I lived in New York City (from 1999-2009) I occasionally flew to Nashville for Christmas, but, just as often, I was not even in the U.S. In 2007, I took my paternal grandmother to Andros Island, Bahamas, and went swimming with sharks (uncaged!) on December 25th. In 2006, my boyfriend and I went to Jamaica for Christmas. In 2003, I was on a European Christmas markets river cruise on the Danube. You get the idea.

Me and Grandmother Smartt at Small Hope Bay Lodge, Andros Island, Bahamas ~ Christmas 2007

In more recent years, Greg and I have enjoyed a quiet day at home on Christmas, although a few times I have had an open house and made a big spread of food so people could drop by throughout the day. I have also been invited to other people's homes for similar, open house-style parties. Otherwise we go to a neighborhood brewery or pub, sometimes meeting up with a small group of friends for a few drinks.

My open house spread ~ Christmas Day 2015

This year Greg decided to fly home to Nashville to spend Christmas with his parents. He hasn't seen them since early December of last year and I think he needed a break from the office and from Portland, although he'll still be working remotely. He will be gone for two weeks so I won't see him again until after the first week of 2018. We opened our gifts from our families and from each other on December 23rd before he went to the airport. As I mentioned earlier, I prefer not to exchange gifts; Greg (and our families) are still more traditional. But now instead of focusing on the quantity of gifts, there is more of an effort to get really thoughtful things, often consumables like homemade cookies and locally made products that we'll use and enjoy. This year my mom gave us a really nice photo book documenting our two-week Panama Canal cruise together in 2016.

Christmas 2017

You may be wondering why I didn't go to Nashville with Greg since all of my immediate family lives in the area. The short answer is, I was just there in late August and I will be going back in mid/late May for my nephew's high school graduation. Considering there are no direct flights from Portland, it takes the better part of a day to fly there, and it costs around $400 round trip, this was a no-brainer for me. Also, I'm already traveling east to New Orleans for a girlfriend getaway and to Enterprise, Ala. for a friend's retirement party in January. Sometimes (most of the time) it just doesn't work out logistically for Greg and I to go to Nashville together.

White Christmas 2017

I'll be going to a party at a friend's house tonight, assuming I can safely walk to the bus stop. It sleeted and snowed yesterday and last night and, right now, the sidewalks and streets in my area are like a sheet of ice. Even with Yaktraks I don't want to risk falling and injuring myself.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, no matter how you celebrate!